25 Pokémon That Should Be Left Out of Sword & Shield
With the recent announcement that Pokémon Sword & Shield would not be including all of the over 1,000 Pokémon in its Pokédex, there has been a lot of anger towards Nintendo and Game Freak from longtime fans of the series who wish to catch their favorite Pokémon in the new games. Even though I do find this to be somewhat upsetting as well, I’m not here to argue about that, as I feel there is little that can be done to change this at this point in the game’s development.
So, since we know that some of the Pokémon will be put on the chopping block, I’ve decided to make a list of 25 Pokémon (and their evolutions) that I hope don’t make the cut.
Carbink is an annoying defensive wall that offers absolutely nothing to your team other than to tank hits, which sounds a lot like Shuckle except it isn’t nearly as good at it as Shuckle is, and has an even dumber design. If we’re cutting Pokémon and need to choose between Carbink and Shuckle, then I say we keep Shuckle and throw Carbink back in the caves.
Every Pokémon game has a completely useless early-game Normal type, and Yungoos is Generation 7’s representative. Out of all of these rodents and other small animals, Yungoos is quite possibly the most lame of them all. Yes, even more lame than Bidoof. Just kidding, Bidoof is awesome. But sadly, Yungoos is not. Axe him.
It’s a bird in an egg-diaper. What else needs to be said? It’s stupid looking and there’s plenty of other generic birds that you can catch that are stronger and considerably less stupid-looking. Dump it!
On its own, Shelmet isn’t that bad. Sure it’s generic and a little silly looking, but that’s not the point. What bothers me about Shelmet is that it evolves into something that looks absolutely nothing like its previous form. Of course, there is a reason for this, but it’s a silly reason. What reason is that, you ask? Well…
This is the reason why Shelmet and Accelgor are so stupid. It’s because Karrablast and its evolution Escavalier are also stupid. You see, Shelmet and Karrablast evolve when you trade them with each other, because Karrablast steals Shelmet’s shell, which… somehow causes them to evolve into Pokémon that look nothing like their previous forms. It’s an annoying gimmick that produces stupid-looking Pokémon, and I say the lot of them should be removed from the Sword & Shield Pokédex.
Don’t get me wrong, Rotom is kind of cool on its own, but as any Sun & Moon player will tell you, he severely overstayed his welcome in the Alolan adventure. In these games, Rotom possesses your Pokédex and accompanies you for the entire game, offering constant obnoxious notifications and endless unsolicited advice. Here’s some advice for you, Rotom – stay out of Gen 8!
I’ve always hated Dunsparce, even as a kid. Even though I actually know what Dunsparce is supposed to be nowadays (for reference, he’s a tsuchinoko, a mythical Japanese snake-like creature), that still doesn’t make it any less lame. Whenever people say that Pokémon designs only started getting bad in Gen 4 or later, I point them towards Dunsparce.
I object to this Pokémon’s existence solely because of its impossibly stupid name. I even think it’s kind of cool-looking, but I cannot even begin to get over its dumb freaking name. Who came up with this? Did they pass this one off to some random intern and took the very first suggestion they had? I can’t come up with a better explanation for why such a name was greenlit. I say we should abandon Type: Null in Alola. Forever.
Pokémon has lots of generic blobs and other piles of garbage for Poison types that could be featured in Sword & Shield, and Gulpin and its evolution Swalot are probably the most generic of them all. Granted,Trubbish and Garbodor are worse, but… somehow they’ve already been confirmed for Gen 8… Maybe it’s time for us to start worrying about the composition of Sword & Shield’s Pokédex…
Example number two of Pokémon designs being bad from as early as Gen 2. Another junk Pokémon that nobody likes, is nearly useless in battle, and looks stupid to boot! There are plenty of water types out there, and there’s virtually no reason for Qwilfish to continue existing alongside them.
Despite a passing similarity to another dumb pink fish that you may very well see later on this list, Alomomola does not evolve into or from any other Pokémon. It’s just a big, dumb, spongey creature with a ton of HP that takes far too much effort to kill and isn’t even remotely as cool or as useful as the other big, pink HP sponge in the series (Blissey, of course), and we only need one big, pink HP sponge, and Alomomola ain’t it, in my opinion.
This Pokémon’s defining trait is that it leaves a heart-shaped mark behind when it nuzzles you. That’s it. That’s all it can really do. Does it leave it by pressure alone? Is it snot? I guess we’ll never know, especially since there is no logical reason to include Woobat and Swoobat in Sword & Shield.
Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zubat appeared! Wild Zu- STOP! STOP! NO MORE! NO MORE FREAKING ZUBATS! HAVE MERCY ON US, GAME FREAK!
Okay, I get it. I get the joke. He’s one of the Easter Island heads. That doesn’t make him any less stupid-looking. In fact, he gets even more stupid-looking when he evolves. It sure doesn’t help that he’s one of those Pokémon that can only be evolved by leveling up while in a specific area of each game – one which is usually not available until very late in the game. I say Sword & Shield needs to give this guy a hard pass.
An ugly Pokémon that only gets uglier as it evolves. Not to mention that it’s basically just an off-brand Machop. Just give us Machop and we’ll pretend that this evolutionary line never existed at all. It probably shouldn’t have existed to begin with, really.
I’ll be perfectly honest with you. Up until I started doing research for this list, I completely and totally forgot that this was an actual Pokémon. It is so generic and so terrible that its existence had completely disappeared from my mind. I kind of wish I had never remembered them though. Now that I’ve seen Shiinotic’s creepy face, I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
I know what you might be thinking. “Volbeat and Illumise aren’t part of the same evolutionary line!” and you would be right. Despite basically being palette swaps of each other, Volbeat and Illumise are actually not related at all! But they’re basically interchangeable and equally terrible in both design and combat ability, so I’m including them both together. Not that anybody really cares. I mean, have you ever heard someone say they like Volbeat or Illumise? Of course not. So I say we should toss the both of them.
It’s a rock. I mean, it’s a space rock, but… it’s a rock. Not even a cool rock. It’s just a big rock. I mean, I know there’s something inside it, but what’s inside it doesn’t really look much better. We already had a space rock Pokémon. Two of them, in fact. Why did we need this one? Let’s just pretend this one never happened.
In Sun & Moon, they introduced a crab Pokémon. Unfortunately, we’ve had crab Pokémon since Gen 1, and Krabby is way cooler than Crabrawler. It certainly didn’t help Crawbrawler’s case that he was a nuisance, randomly popping out of piles of berries when you were trying to replenish your stock. Let’s hope he doesn’t show up in Gen 8 and ruin our berry-collecting activities once again.
It’s a vomit Pokémon! That’s what it does! It literally barfs out its insides and grabs prey with them! That’s disgusting! And it’s stupid-looking to boot! And on top of it all, it’s actually annoyingly strong! It’s another one of those annoying defensive walls that exist just to make you miserable! Oh, and did I mention it can puke its intestines at you?
Look at it! Look at its stupid freaking face(s)! LOOK AT IT! Who thought this was okay!? Who greenlit such a monstrosity!? Are you in pain, Binacle? Are you being forced to exist against your will? Raise your hands if you want to be put out of your misery!
Unown is, and has always been completely worthless. It can only learn one move, has worthless stats, can’t evolve, and is tied to an annoying side quest that doesn’t even appear in half the games. As a gimmick, it’s kind of neat, but if we’re throwing out unnecessary Pokémon that they don’t want to animate, I’d say throwing out 26+ of them is a great way to start.
Nobody likes Luvdisc.
Nobody has ever liked Luvdisc.
If anybody has ever told you that they liked Luvdisc, they were trolling. It has some of the most worthless stats out of any Pokémon and has never, ever been usable, even just as something to casually play through the story with. Using Luvdisc is basically giving your opponent a free win. It’s even more free than Farfetch’d – a Pokémon that is intentionally terrible by design. The world loses nothing by eliminating Luvdisc from the Pokédex.
Bruxish has had it, she can’t even, and she wants to talk to my manager, now! Why is she on this list? Do I even know who she is? She’s gonna call her husband to kick my butt over this! When told that she will continue to be on this list, she screams loudly, then quiets her purse puppy and storms out, shouting at the top of her lungs that she’s never coming back, even when she’s been explicitly told to leave and never return.
This is it, folks. The worst Pokémon design in the history of the franchise.
Solid proof that, for a period, Game Freak had completely run out of ideas for new Pokémon. That Pokémon designs had really and truly become worse than they used to be. Luckily, the new Pokémon that have been revealed so far for Gen 8 have been significantly better designed than Meltan and Melmetal. Let us just hope that Meltan remains forever confined to Pokémon Go and Pokémon Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee.
If we’re going to have a gutted Pokédex in Sword & Shield, then we can only hope that two slots aren’t completely wasted on these abominations.