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Five Free WEIRD Steam Games

During my journey to the heart of Steam, in order to find you lovely readers some brilliant free games, I’ve seen some things. Things that will stay with me. Forever. From the surreal, to wacky, and to me screaming, “MY INNOCENCE IS GONE FOREVER,” here’s a list of free things I can’t unsee, on Steam!

#5—Femdom Waifu

Ok, how do I write about this while keeping it child-friendly?… Just avert your eyes, kids.

Initially, it’s not that weird, but it certainly opened my innocent little baby eyes to a new genre of video games: the JOI – that’s J O Instruction, for people who used to be like me and not know what that meant. Kinks come in all forms (please pardon that unintentional pun… please), and there’s no judgement from me, babe! You do you, have fun, it’s all good. There’s even a paid DLC for foot stuff, if that’s your thing. Crack on, my loves!

I actually didn’t play this (yeah, yeah, I know you don’t believe me!) but the screenshots certainly gave me a taste of what that game had in store for players, and as I’m quite the softy, I would almost certainly cry from the mean things that she says. I’m also not a dude, so most of it wouldn’t have applied to me, but I still would have cried anyway.

Another DLC, which hilariously costs £7.19, is the censored mode. Yup; nudity for free, yet pay for big black censorship bars. Sexy!

Two more things of note;

  • The page description says “made with love” and that’s damn adorable, and
  • This Steam review:

#4—Survivor

When the first screenshot looks, at first glance, like a bunch of random faces on giant fake nails, you’re gonna be like “what on actual Earth is this?” So, of course, I gave it a play. It was a surreal experience.

A first-person hot take on the reality show of the same name, Survivor got weird immediately. I had so many questions such as: Why is this music so unnaturally ominous? Who is this lady that’s criticizing me already? And, why shut down a bathroom for being out of toilet paper?

A pretty cool fact about this game is that it was originally made for the ARS17 exhibition, held in the Kiasma Museum of Contemporary Art, Helsinki.

#3—Real Al’s Humanity Academy

VR headsets at the ready for this one! A WarioWare type game that throws minigames at you from all angles, wildly, with reckless abandon! You want to keep holding that vase? Tough, you’re playing some form of tennis with a chicken now. For this is how to act human, you mad little robot.

With graphics slightly better than Baldi’s Basics, and boasting a unique sense of humor; for the sweet, sweet price of absolutely zero, it’s a hell of a lot of fun. This madcap experience is definitely worth a download.

#2—Boobs ‘em Up

This is a thing that exists. I can’t show a single image from this as every character in Boobs ‘em Up (my god, that is literally the name) is naked and, um… really, really friendly.

Some highlights from the Steam page description are;

  • You are a naked amazon and are ready to kill everybody on your way.
  • Bad naked sexy girls
  • The are naked, because they want to show their sexy tits and the whole bodies to the potential clients, but it does not prevent them from fighting.

Stay in school, kids.

#1—Brief Karate Foolish

You might have seen Game Grumps play this one!

Any game that has the tagline of “Defeat mighty enemies, and get the legendary briefs!” has my attention! This is a live-action fighter where you choose from a variety of soft, middle-aged Asian men to fight against other soft, middle-aged Asian men. My favorite is dear sweet Bonsoir “Nya” Nekomimi, with his beautiful cat ears.

It costs nothing, which I don’t understand because it’s certainly worth paying for. But you don’t have to, so why complain? The Steam page is absolutely worth looking at alone, for the brief character descriptions and photos. It’s rocking local multiplayer, so get friends round for it; this game is played best with beer and pizza.

And there we have it! Some certainly stand out games, for utterly nothing.

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